Resounding THANK YOU!!!!

You - the faithful Voters - Got me another adventure - A 7 Day Caribbean Cruise - THANK YOU

You – the faithful Voters – Got me another adventure – A 7 Day Caribbean Cruise – THANK YOU

HOW can I possible thank you all.  I am surprised – shocked – excited – overwhelmed.  You did it.  Your daily commitment to voting and sharing the voting link allowed me to be picked the Grand Prize Winner of a 7 day Caribbean Cruise. 

A Cruise is most definitely one of those things that I used to think – “that would be neat” but knew I could not go on a cruise due to my size.  I quickly would dismiss the notion of a cruise as I could not imagine the small rooms etc.  Since I am the type of person who is aware of others, I used to kind of make sure I did not put myself in places that had a lot of people – as I knew I really took up the space of two people when I was 355 pounds.

All that changed and now I am going on a Cruise – so surreal.  I am beyond excited.

To the other Finalists – Kim and Kelli – you are both beautiful and have an amazing story to share with the world.

SSC Winners

To the other Ship Shape Challenge Winners – that’s right – WINNERS – I only have happy thoughts when I think of you all.  Amazing group of people and I am so lucky to have been put on this path so that we would all be able to meet and spend time together in Utah – courtesy of Ideal Shape!  We have formed a bond and friendship through our Journeys that intersected in Utah!!!


Here is a link to their amazing stories – Transformations for each one!  Please if you have time go check out their amazing stories and video’s @

I can never say enough about Ideal Shape – The “tool” that literally GAVE ME LIFE.  I am doing all the things I could only dream of ….. so awesome.

Now I can add taking a Cruise to my many adventures (zip linning, parasailing, banana boat, roller coaster, hiking)! I am LIVING LIFE and LOVING IT!!!

 Do you want a chance to win a cruise — TAKE THE CHALLENGE — Click HERE ===>

Be sure to check out the Ideal Shape Page for coupon code if interested in ordering.  Also please visit and like my FB Page.  Have a glorious day.


The Daily Times published an article today about my Journey

     In today’s paper an article was written about my weight loss journey and I thought I would share. The Maryville Daily Times, Melanie Tucker, did an amazing job with my story.  I am thankful and hopeful that this article may inspire someone else and give hope that weight loss is achievable.

Again I want to thank Ideal Shape for being the tool for me to be able to accomplish, what was once only a dream.  I am now living life and loving it!  The great people in the Ideal Shape organization are amazing.  Yes it is a job, but they take a personal interest in helping others achieve their Ideal Shape – they truly are first class and changing lives.

For a link to the full article :

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Be sure to check out the Ideal Shape Page for coupon code if interested in ordering.  Also please visit and like my FB Page.  Have a glorious day.

Video – How I make My Favorite Lunch Shake

Hello – and welcome….I am posting a short video on how I make my favorite Lunch Shake – super easy and quick!



Be sure to check out the Ideal Shape Page for coupon code if interested in ordering.  Also please visit and like my FB Page.  Have a glorious day.



Hiking …. So Awesome … Another example of LIVING LIFE

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I used to always be a couch potato.  Now I constantly want to go and do something.  On Saturday, after watching Vol Football, it was time to get out and exercise, but I wanted to do something different.  So Hiking sounded fun and different.

My husband went with me, he is trying.  To be honest he was a trouper.  This was real hard on him.  It was only a 1.3 mile hike to the Laurel Falls, but he is heavy, like I was.  But he wants to participate in my life and since I always want to go do something he went with me.  So proud of him.  Before my weight loss I would not have attempted this Hike.  He was breathing real heavy and I was worried he would have a heart attack.  But he made it to the Falls – good job.

I had NO ISSUES.  In fact when we got to the top, I climbed up to the top of the Falls and then all the way to the bottom.  Mike was waiting on me to finish exploring. 🙂 It was so much fun finding footing and reaching for branches or rocks to climb.  What a beautiful countryside.  Love East Tennessee.


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I wanted to do the 5.1 mile round trip to Abrahm Falls, but it was a late start (due to football game) and we sorta got lost – lol — actually worked out cause I think the longer hike might have been too much on Mike. Next time will be the Abrahm Falls….so excited! –

Be sure to check out the Ideal Shape Page for coupon code if interested in ordering.  Also please visit and like my FB Page.  Have a glorious day.


Understanding Me for Me

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Recently I heard some amazing stories and many of them hit a chord and made some things that I had buried, come to the surface.  While reading, “Think – Use Your Mind to Shrink Your Waistline”, by David Meine, I discovered quite a few things.  One is instead of continuing my method of burring past issues I have never truly dealt with, perhaps I need to look into my past.  Not to dwell but to learn.

From the book, referenced above, “In order to understand how you got where you are today, it’s important to understand how beliefs are created deep within your mind, and how they covertly shape your behaviors and ultimately your body. (pg 34) Also in the book on page 43, it reads, “getting to the heart of our past, and the hold it has on us, is no easy feat.

So I think it is time for me to face my past and I will use this blog to write down these issues so that I can continue on my journey.  Some may ask, you have already lost 188 pounds why do this step now, that is a simple question to answer – because I NEVER want to go back to the way I was.  And when I look in the mirror, even after 188 pounds lost, I still see A FAT PERSON – AN UNWORTHY PERSON – AN UGLY PERSON – and that is really starting to concern me.  Especially when I see a picture of myself – I am so judgmental of myself!  So I am going to try to open up about my past, so that I can deal with it and truly move on.

I have mentioned that I grew up in an alcoholic home.  Because of this there were many traumatic events in my early childhood. And these shaped who I am today and what I think of myself.  My self esteem has always been extremely low.  I understand now that my mother was drunk, and probably did not mean what she said, but when you are a kid and you constantly hear the words, “I wish you were never born,” well that really hurt and caused me to not value my own life.  I mean if my own mom wished I was never born, should I have been.  Still to this day, I can hear my mom speak (or shout) those words to me.

I remember, after my parents got divorced, I went to my mom’s to visit.  That night turned out real bad.  I can not remember all the details as I have gotten really good at burring my feelings and memories, but I remember (I was about 13 or 14) running through the woods at her apartment complex, she was chasing me in her car and yelling at me.  I was trying to hide, to just get away.  I do not even remember how the evening ended, I just remember being so scared and just had this overwhelming desire to GET OUT.

As I grew up, I just did not even care to live.  I remember I would say to myself, “you can’t hurt Little Ma, so hang in there.”  But I really wanted to die, to end it all, I was so tired of the pain I was always feeling.  But I loved my grandmother and could not hurt her, so I continued my life. I would hurt myself on purpose – of course where no one could see, but to be honest the physical pain was so much easier to deal with than the emotional pain. (One day I struggled too much and took a lot of pills with alcohol (I was about 22 yrs old), and wound up in the hospital, being forced to eat the charcoal and getting my stomach pumped.)

When I was also about 10 – 12 years old, I remember I used to take raw bacon and swallow it holding one end and pull it back out.  I was trying to feel the pain of choking, really weird memory, but I did this often.

Most of the clothes I wore as a kid were hand me downs from my 3 year older brother.  Was this because my mom was ashamed of how I looked and did not want to bother shopping for or with me, or because finding clothes at my size was too hard.  I guess I will never know the answer to this question.

{FYI – my mother died in 2000 – due to alcohol related issues}

The talks I would have with my mom, were generally her telling me in great detail about all the “other” men she was seeing (while still being married to my Dad) – this really hurt.  See my mom was a beautiful woman, and I think deep down I did not want to be pretty because of all the in depth details she would tell me and I was most definitely not old enough to hear or fully understand.  She would constantly tell me to lie to my dad.  Saying it is only a “white lie” and those are okay.  My dad on the other hand, buried himself in work.  And he would always tell me to never lie.  Such confusion I had.

The words, I Love You, were seldom spoken or heard in my family.  I “knew” my Dad loved me, he just was not good at saying it.  But when you grow up rarely if ever hearing those words, you wonder, a lot.  People would tell me how my Dad would brag on me, but he never complimented me to my face.  See I was a good kid and a good student.  But I think hearing good things would have been nice.  I think hearing the I love you’s and the I am proud of you, might have given me self esteem.  To be honest it is still awkward today even hugging my dad because again he is not one to show emotion.

For the most part, my Dad worked really late nights.  My mom would fix my brother and I TV diners.  Not the healthiest thing to eat for sure.  But since my dad worked late, she would cook later for him.  After their divorce, my brother and I would cook and eat with dad, and this was often past 9pm.  So eating habits I formed early in life were not good.  I never really learned how to eat.

I did love to eat.  It was another method for me to drown the pain I was feeling.  One summer, I was visiting my grandmother (I was probably 14ish), and was manipulated into something I should have not let happen all for candy bars.  This is a memory that is just too personal to write in detail about, so I will move on….

So to say my childhood was difficult is probably an understatement.  I lived in an environment that my main care giver wished I was never born, I did not hear I Love You, I did not feel loved (I “knew” it but did not feel it), I felt unworthy, ugly, pathetic, vulnerable and just plain crappy.  So what did I do, I ate.  Writing it now sounds like an excuse and I do not believe in excuses, but it was my reality and how I chose to handle that reality.

When I was about 26 years old, my grandmother (on my mom’s side (not my Little Ma)) passed away.  I was sent some boxes of stuff (in error).  I went through the boxes and found letters that Mamaw had written saying how ugly I was.  Ugly and fat.  How I was such a disappointment.  My appearance bothered her so much that when she died, she did not even acknowledge me in her last will and testament. She was wealthy, left my brother well over one million dollars and I was not even a mention… wow…. talk about an affirmation of my worthlessness.

So I am sure I could dig up more issues, but not really sure I want or need to.  After writing this and then reading, I realize that yeah I had a crappy life as a kid.  But I have overcome that and I have done some great things and instead of downplaying how my life has turned out, I am going to tell my self what a great job I did – despite my youth – Instead of my mom teaching me what to do she taught me what not to do and that is okay.  I graduate from the University of Tennessee in 3 years while working 30 hours a week.  I got married and we have raised and amazing young man.  And now I finally started focusing on me, and lost more than half of me so that I could do things I wanted to do.  I do not think I am at the stage of telling myself I am pretty, but I will start trying to tell myself that.  But I am noticing I do have more self esteem lately.  I do not walk in a room and find a place to hide.  While I have always been a confident person at work, in a personal setting I am like Jekyll and Hyde.  Another quote from the book “Think” is “Ultimately, you have to wake up one day and say – Enough! I am tired of the consequences from my negative thinking. I can change my thinking and have a physical manifestation that is my ideal shape.” (pg 19) My friends and family that have spoken and posted such nice things about my transformation are so meaningful to me.  I find myself re-reading to make me believe what they are saying.  I am working on re-training my brain to believe I am worthy, pretty, even beautiful (so not there yet), but the mind is a powerful thing, and in time, I think I might be able to hold my head high and feel good in my own skin.


Think Book
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See the Page – Ideal Shape Products – in my blog for a SPECIAL DISCOUNT CODE 🙂 🙂 🙂

{if you click on the ORANGE above it will take you to my Ideal Shape Page 🙂 }






Trip to Park City Utah was Amazing – Compliments of Ideal Shape

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Okay so the trip was amazing.  I met so many amazing people.  First off the contestants – there were 12 and they were all awesome.  Great Stories about their personal weight loss journey.  So inspiring.  There were tears – to be expected as we have all had life altering changes in our weight since finding Ideal Shape. One person was in a Wheel Chair due to back issues and found the Ideal Shape Up (Free Videos – find on Yahoo – created by Ideal Shape) and I saw her doing cartwheels in Park City.  Another lady, has a dysfunctional ticker (heart) – she was told by her doctor she had to loose weight.  She was on other programs and was able to loose a great deal of weight but the last 40 + pounds she needed Ideal Shape and she just finished a 60 mile walk (in like 3 days) for Cancer.  Talk about inspiration.  We also had a married couple, a Professor, a local (David P), Kelli -super sweet lady who has lost over 100 pounds, several East Coasters and more.  All with their own stories and unique perspective.  To see all their stories now you can go to and lookthem up.  I think in January, the video and photo shots will be available and you can learn more about these amazing folks at that time.The other cool aspect of this trip was that Ideal Shape also invited back 3 past winners of their Ship Shape Contest.  And well that was just awesome.  Julie, Bri, Kate and Ken – were so helpful.  They also shared their stories and wow – just wow.  Kleenex anyone….
Now to Ideal Shape Folks — OMG — I had contact with them via FB and phone, but to meet them in person — wow.  They all SINCERELY care about helping people achieve their Ideal Shape. 
One of the Co Owners – Skyler – he was in tears when he talked about why and where the vision of this company came from.  See, he had grown up a big kid and suffered ridicule as well.  But more importantly was that he said, as crying, that his goal was to reach 1 million people in hopes that they would find the way to start their own Journey and change their lives.  That touch me so — I have made it my goal to get the word out as well. 
The other Co-Owner, Skyler’s Father, David.  What an amazingly smart man.  I have such respect for him.  He also is extremely passionate at helping others achieve their weight loss goals.  He is the Mind Guy – where he advocated using brain training in helping one loose weight.  I had heard of his book “Think – Use Your Mind to Shrink your waistline” but after reading it the other day – wow – wish I had gotten the book earlier (but I will have a whole blog on this book – it is that good).  His foster dad, struggled with weight, being over 400 pounds. David and his Wife, Carla (another amazing strong woman) wanted to find a way to help him, so  that was their reasoning for starting this amazing company – helping others to achieve their Ideal Shape.
I am SOOOO grateful for as I have said before this company, the products and the advise have literally given me a life I have never had before.  I am living life in full view and participation instead of hiding in the shadows.  Make no mistake this is not a miracle pill….there is work, but if willing to change your lifestyle to a healthier you, then the shakes and other items will help you!
Then we have the rest of the Meine family  – most, if not all, seem to work for Ideal Shape in one way or another.  One of the daughters recently lost a lot of weight also using this product – I just thought when I heard her speak in front of everyone – including her Mom and Dad who started this company – to admit to her weaknesses and do something about them….wow — inspiring – had to be hard to …. well I just can’t put my thoughts into words at the moment – But Natasha is simply amazing and strong.
Now I met all sorts of people and I am sure I may miss a few — (kinda harder to write this blog than I thought – ) But Marylin – she is basically the event coordinator – did an amazing job and has a BIG heart; Tyler – the Video dude – is funny and kind; Lindsey – she is the fitness chick and is so full of knowledge I could sit with her for a week or more with a sponge – and she even responds quickly to my messages on what other exercise I should be doing; Meg – is shorter than I would have thought (sorry Meg), she has such a BIG Bubbly personality it is simply contagious.  Lizzy – the writer and took lots of action photo shots as well – super sweet.  I was meet at the airport by, Shelby – again another Rock Star — oh so many — I also got to meet so many other Ideal Shape employees and they were all super nice and helpful. 
All in all my take away from the weekend in regards to Ideal Shape – is they are a family — they truly care about their customers and want to see people achieve their Ideal Shape.  Oh and they like to have fun too – which is very nice to see.



Ideal Shape PICKED ME! – Going to Utah – excited

I am so excited.  I submitted my story to the Ideal Ship Shape Challenge and they picked me (and Mark – we both rocked it!) to be their 2014 July Winner(s).  I go to Utah and get to finally meet all the amazing people they have working at Ideal Shape and all the other monthly winners as well as a few of last years winners they are inviting back.  I am so excited.  I will be sure to post more about the trip – it is in September. 

Click here for a link to the story they posted in a their blog

The only down side to it being in September – is I will be missing my son’s high school football game (he is the starting center)  – I have never – ever  – missed one of his games and he plays multiple sports – so that Friday night I will definitely be mentally a little far away as I will be figuring out how I can possibly listen to the game while in Utah.  I did talk to my son about missing his game and he said “Mom I am so proud of you – you deserve this and I will be OK”  – Golly I love that Boy

So Utah in September — Now I gotta go buy some more clothes – lol